Valentine’s day is going…
I am sure those in relationships are thinking of nice things to say or do for their loved ones, while those that are single(well most of them) are wishing they had someone to share this day with…well, I wish you all the best in your chosen hustle.
In the spirit of valentine, let’s talk about love. I’m going to take the focus off people-oriented love and talk about self-love. I keep asking myself, is it remotely possible to love another when you do not love yourself? It’s like trying give me a sum of one million dollars when you have only ten thousand dollars in your account…quite impossible! You simple cannot give what you do not have. In my opinion, that’s what is wrong with the world today, people are busy running around looking for who will love them to wholeness and forgetting that the answer lies within.
One of the biggest struggles we face in life is the struggle of accepting ourselves as we are. It’s really not the easiest thing to do sometimes; at least not after you have been abused as a kid, bullied or teased for looking different, sounding different, dressing different or coming from a different background…not after you have been treated badly by the very people you expected the best from, but truth is, irrespective of the hand life dealt you as a kid, or is dealing you now that you are grown up, the only way you can truly live the life God called you to live is by developing self-love.
Self-love simply means accepting yourself the way you are and valuing your imperfections as much as your perfections because God created you that way for a purpose.
It means taking responsibility for yourself and your actions and blaming no one else but yourself when things go sour. It is accepting the past for what it is and giving you permission to let it go…
Self-love is having a healthy opinion of yourself; knowing who you are in Christ Jesus, knowing what you are worth and refusing to settle for less than God’s best for your life…
Self- love is a lot of things but it isn’t being arrogant, conceited or egocentric. Now, that is just Narcissism.
The importance of self-love cannot be overemphasized, not in the world we live in today, where everyone has an opinion about everything, even the things they have no business having an opinion about. Unless you have self-love, you could easily become depressed or lost trying to live the life others think you should be living. Lack of self-love is the major reason why people are totally dependent on the approval of others to feel validated. It cripples their ability to have meaningful relationships and robs them of the joy of being the entirety of all God created them to be. People that lack self-love basically feed off the opinions of others and they let these opinions become their reality. They adopt lifestyles and customs that are contrary to their belief systems just because they want to gain the acceptance of others… But sincerely speaking, no human created by God for a divine purpose can afford to live life this way… it is totally unsatisfying and too hard. It is way easier to develop self-love than it is to live a shadow of your real life.
Developing self-love will sure save you a lot of heartaches and melodrama in life. It will help you make better choices. Choices that will make you live a better and more satisfying life. It’s not the easiest thing to do, but it is worth doing! It is a struggle we must win.
Self-love isn’t something that happens overnight. You have to make a conscious effort to genuinely love yourself as you are. Stand in front of your mirror today and make a decision to begin to see yourself as an individual that needs your attention and your affection. Learn to forget where you are the bad side of the past while learning from it; all the hurts and silly things that crippled your self-esteem. Learn to dissociate your past from your future because there is really no correlation.
Choose to forgive yourself and anyone else that needs to be forgiven because by so doing, you set yourself free to live in the now.
Get in touch with your real self!
Learn to laugh at your silliness and when you are done laughing, give yourself permission to move past the mistake and strive to do better.
Take yourself out when you are down.
Sing yourself happy (make sure u do so in the bathroom i.e. if you voice is as nice as mine).
Take care of yourself, eat healthy, exercise, go see a doctor if you have to…just stay healthy for yourself.
Do whatever it is that brings you happiness but never ever hinge your happiness to someone else. Rather than wait around for someone to come rescue you, be your own HERO. The most powerful relationship you can have is the relationship with yourself because every other thing hinges on it.
Always take a stand! Make sure you put your feet in the right place at all times, then stand firm. Refuse to go with the crowd, refuse to adopt public opinion. Get your facts straight and form your own values, you are as important as anyone else and what you feel and think is valid, don’t let the world shut you down.
Be correctable at all times because nobody really knows it all. Have some self-respect and treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Above all, refuse to compromise on your God given values.
Live, laugh, love and always remember you are precious to God, he loves you and he is crazy about you just the way you are. God’s grace!